Networking has been one of the top buzzwords used in business over the past few years. So much so that face-to-face or social networking has started to become a “dreaded chore”, writes Michelle Tillis Lederman, author of a new book, The 11 Laws of Likability (AMACOM, 2012, ISBN-13: 978-0-8144-1637-2).
The bottom line in networking is that professional people do business with other professional people that they like. No amount of networking can overrule the likeability factor. People need to shift their thinking from me to them, from work to any topic and from now to long term, it’s not about you, it’s all about the relationship.
Before, During and After the Conversation
The book is broken up into three sections, before the conversation, during the conversation and after the conversation is over. There are three or four laws per section. The first section starts out with:
- The Law of Authenticity, connecting with people works better when you are yourself
- The Law of Self-Image, you have to like yourself before you can like someone else or they can like you
- The Law of Perception, whatever perceptions others gather about you, that is their reality
- The Law of Energy, others pickup on your energy level
One of the greatest sections is where Lederman provides tips for introverts to participate in networking, especially when those introverts have difficulty feeling comfortable in such situations. Lederman writes, “Introverts usually think that making connections and building relationships is something that comes more naturally for extroverts.”
The author believes that introverts can and should relax and know that they can feel at ease in business situations. Being an introvert can be a strength.
During the Conversation
Lederman recommends that given an opportunity, you should always have a conversation. Taking the time to talk to another person can lead to unbelievable connections and results down the road. The laws presented in the section include: curiosity, listening, similarity and mood memory.
After the Conversation if Over
The last three laws, familiarity, giving and patience apply to events that happen after the conversation is over. Lederman has a good view of giving back and paying forward, “One of the strongest ways to increase likability and foster a connection is to demonstrate that we understand someone else’s needs and are happy to help fulfill them.”
The book is an easy read. Lederman uses some storytelling to demonstrate the use of each law. Her stories do not overwhelm and provide applicable examples. This book is aptly titled and the readers are going to like it and the author just fine.
