A new book, Princess Recovery A How-to Guide to Raising Strong, Empowered Girls Who Can Create Their Own Happily Ever Afters (Adams Media, 2012, ISBN: 978-1-4405-2795-1), by Jennifer Hartstein takes an in-depth look at eight “princess symptoms” that would be better taught to children as “heroine values.” A girl with the princess syndrome is described by the author as being focused on a fairy-tale kind of life, believes she is the center of the universe, is obsessed with her looks and only plays with pretty toys and dresses.
Side Effects of Princess Syndrome
Evidence of the side effects of the princess syndrome can be found in the statistics the author provides including:
- 53 percent of girls are unhappy with their own bodies by age 13 and that number grows to 78 percent by age 17
- The number of eating disorders for girls under the age of 12 has risen 117 percent.
- One study showed that by the age of three, girls are worried about their body weight.
Harstein wrote the book to help parents recognize the princess symptoms as well as tips and techniques parents can use to counteract the symptoms by using positive “heroine values.” There are age-appropriate solutions provided at the end of each chapter.
Princess Symptoms and Heroine Values
Harstein does a really good job listing the characteristics of “the princess” followed by a list of attributes displayed by the “heroines.” Just a few of those include:
Princesses:
- Prioritize outer beauty before inner beauty.
- Does things for the appearance of perfection.
- Thinks that romance will fix a relationship.
- Expects to get the best for herself while often thinking that others should get less.
Heriones:
- Appreciates inner and outer beauty.
- Works hard to earn her successes
- Defines herself with confidence, by her own standards and moral compass.
- Helps herself and others.
The author uses a full chapter to explain each of the princess symptoms along with examples. She also provides a healthy value that can be used to replace the princess attitude. A few of the symptoms versus values include:
- Appearances are everything versus smarts pay off
- Entitlement versus hard work
- Surface over substance versus being who you are
- Me first versus compassion and consideration for others
Problematic Lessons Daughters Learn
Wanting to live a happy life is not where the problem lies with the princess syndrome. Herstein writes that pink dresses, shoes and feather boas don’t create the problem. It’s the messages that those things send to daughters unless they are counteracted with other types of messages such as the heroine values.
Princess messages include:
- Boys and girls are different
- Girls should be pretty
- The more you have, the better you are
- Someone else will rescue you
- You should be sexy
Princess Recovery
The author and the basis for the book offers readers a princess recovery program aimed at the parents. The program involves three main steps: recognize the issues, create an individualized plan and decide on family values.
This book relates many, many good messages that girls of all ages should hear every day. There is a section on bullying and what happens to bullies in adult life. Herstein also explores creating a balance of self-respect and compassion and combating selfishness.
The book is well written with an excellent message for a vitally important sector of society, young daughters. The author provides age appropriate solutions beginning with age two through age six. I’d highly recommend the book for parents working hard to raise their daughters to have an inner self-worth versus thinking strictly in materialist ways.
